If you saw my IG post from a few days ago you know that Isaad heads to the East Coast to start college soon - in 12 days, to be precise!! How do I feel about it? How does one describe a piece of their heart being ripped out of their body and separated from them after 18 years, 11 months & 2 days of living together? Leaves me pretty speechless, to be honest, and with a wide range of conflicting emotions that I wasn’t aware I was capable of feeling. I draw solace from the fact that if my sister managed to survive sending her daughter to New York from Pakistan, 4 years ago, I most definitely will too.
For your information, the door to door distance/duration/time from Karachi to NY is approximately 24 hours and that includes a couple of flights plus a few car rides and a subway ride if you’re heading to Pratt in Brooklyn:) My DDT (distance/duration/time) from SF to NY, will be 5ish hours, including one flight and two car rides. I think, I’ll most definitely survive ...
At the beginning of summer, in my attempt to deal with this life changing event, of my baby moving out of our home, I decided to learn more about myself. No, I didn’t become a self-help-book-reading junkie. But I decided to enjoy ... no, cancel that ... I made an intention to SAVOR each moment. I know I’ve talked about being in the moment in an earlier blog post but I’m literally relishing each and every moment these days. Of course, especially with Isaad, but generally speaking too, it’s the most liberating feeling.
No past regrets or depressing thoughts and no future anxieties or worries. It’s difficult as hell in the beginning because your mind starts wandering after a while but once you can start mastering it, there’s truly nothing like it. I don’t panic easily, I stay relaxed in most situations, my social anxiety has gone down significantly and I’m not dwelling on things that have happened already or what is to come since I have power over neither.
I don’t have a therapist, per se, but I do work with someone who, over the years, has become a dear friend of mine. And, a mentor. AND a guru of sorts. Her name is Kim Bellisimo. Kim has a master’s degree in Life Transitions Counseling - she is a life coach, energy worker and therapist all rolled into one. Over the course of the last 11 years, I’ve successfully learnt, through her teachings, how to identify my negative and repetitive energy patterns that can prevent me from achieving my life goals.
I was introduced to Kim through a friend of mine who happened to be her client, when I was having a kind of a mini-personal crisis. Isaad was in 3rd grade & Lulu had just started Kindergarten. I wasn’t working at the time and the endless hours at home without them were driving me crazy. During my first session with Kim, right off the bat, she asked me: “What’s your intention, Sobia?” I had no effing idea what that meant so I told her so. She explained to me, that we can manifest what we want or “our intentions” through self-empowering behavior patterns. We had hours and hours of sessions (mostly via the phone and based entirely on my timing - once a week or once a month or whatever worked for me) and over time I learnt so much about myself. Did we dig into my childhood? Hell yes, we did!!! And you’re right, I’m not sharing any of those details ... yet! Is it an ongoing process? HELL yes, it is. But boy, have I come a looooong way from the time we started.
Needless to say, having Kim in my life has transformed me, my life, my attitude towards my life and my relationships with my family as well as my friends. Another thing I vividly recall about my first conversation with Kim was her telling me that many of my friendships would change as I evolved into a newer version of myself. I remember her saying, that in time, I would have no room for any kind of toxicity in my life and that I would be surprised at how willing I would become to embrace clean, easy, drama-free friendships. Those words still resonate with me. I’m not the kind of gal who has tons and tons of friends but I do know that the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with lift me and are there for me as I am for them always.
Circling back to where I started ... we drop Isaad to NY in a few days and my intention is to continue to live in the now, knowing that my dear friends are here to let me bawl on their shoulders ... should that moment arise. My intention btw, is not to do so but instead, it is to celebrate my boy with pride, let him fly and be thankful for the 18 incredible years we’ve had living in the same home. AND, look forward to the many, many, many, MANY more years (inshallah) that we have together but under a slightly different living arrangement:) Plus, what’s a better antidote than a dash of Kim to remind me that this is just another life transition plus my many, already planned, upcoming trips to NY!!!
This is not an ad. but if you’d like to reach out to Kim Bellisimo you can do so via her website: www.kimbellisimo.com
Thank you for visiting & reading my blog post! Lots and lots of love from the stirrer;) Thanks as always to Ricci at Rust and Flourish for these chic pics. Hugs, Sobia